An Optimist, a Pessimist and a House Full of Crazies
by USJapan
Summary: Homestuck is over and all the characters live together. What will happen when John and Karkat develop mutual feelings for each other but can't admit them. Main pairing is JohnKat but others get a little spotlight
1. John's feelings and Rose's schemes

**A/N: Hello I have been meaning to write this for a while now, well better late than never. Anyway as my first fanfic I do intend to make it long, complex, fun, and above all finish it. This will mainly be JohnKat but I will add touches of many other relationships. As I go feel free to review, ask questions about me or the story, I may not answer all but I will put my favorite ones up, and before you ask what troll I am like, ask "how are you like..." and a specific troll because I am complex and share traits with at least 10. Enjoy, make suggestions, criticize, and point out mistakes as long as they help. And parts of this were inspired but some other fanfics. And sorry if I sounded egotistical**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck, blah blah blah you know the drill by now.**

Now that Homestuck was done with and the entire cast can retreat to their shared mansion containing all their sets and quests beds, among other items, still functional if they so decided to use them. Everyone was a little more peaceful, well not everyone, but most were. Rose still loved to psychoanalyze, Vriska gave Tavros a hard time and Gamzee was always quick to defend 'Tavbro' from her and to many people's joy John was still overly optimistic and to their dismay Karkat was still annoyingly pessimistic.

We are now following John Egbert.

He is lying down on his bed in his room wondering if any relationships will change due to the events that happened in Homestuck. He has noticed Kanaya tries to avoid Eridan now; Feferi and Aradia have started fighting over Sollux as opposed to before when Aradia got him all to herself, some even claim they may have become kismesises. The monster that played Lord English, the cherubs and most members of the 'Felt Gang' and 'Midnight Crew' were close friends compared to most others with them. Meenah and Jake were rather buddy-buddy at first, despite her having to try and throw her 2x3 trident into him, and might have been more if not for Aranea and Jake's horrible lack of a brain.

Some, mainly Rose and Kanaya even think that maybe emotional states such as a member of a species' love dynamic may change to match that of another species. Especially with everyone so close together. He just dismisses it thinking they are pulling a prank.

John must admit he has started to get annoyed by Eridan with his constant complaining about how Feferi 'should not even give the time of day to that putrid mustard-blooded troll.' And he has also become increasingly annoyed at Terezi ever since she and Dave started to go out, but Rose just chalks that up to 'jealousy about her taking so much of his best 'bro's' time.' He really doubts he is that annoyed, and he just thinks it is because of how constantly these things happen and if not for them he might actually like them. It has also become increasingly popular among the human members of the house to take to becoming bisexual; he doesn't even think they are acting like how some more skeptical members of the house do. For example, Dirk has recently decided to give Jane a try and agreed to a date with her. However he has also taken a 'liking' to Karkat, John has no idea how this happened.

He has no idea how on Earth, Alternia, Beforus, or anyone of the planets in any session how this happened. The worst part is that he thinks maybe this was meant to happen and he isn't sure if it is a good or bad thing yet.

No, he decides it's bad, he means he is a friend and all but John remains on his 'no homo' status, and remains hopeful for a date with Vriska.

He lies in bed thinking for about a half an hour before he decides that he can't lie in bed all day, someone will eventually come looking for him, they always do, not that he minds. He goes to the bathroom for his morning routine, most of which is combing his hair and brushing and flossing his buck teeth. He is half way through getting changed when someone knocks on his door. The knock is accompanied immediately with a response "John, its Rose are you still up for your session in 10 minutes, I need to know, especially since you didn't even give me a reason why you needed me all of a sudden."

He forgot about his psychology meeting with Rose, he calls to her, "be there soon, just getting dressed."

"Ok, see you soon" and then she left.

He isn't looking forward to telling someone about his emotional entanglement but she keeps everything secret, even from Kanaya, and he needs to talk to someone and she can keep her disliking best hidden. Dave would just laugh at him, make jokes and tell the entire house despite the 2 being best bros, and Jade would just wonder why him, she wouldn't make a rude comment, but he could see the disgust on her face for a minute or 2 on matters this pressing.

He leaves for his meeting with Rose just 2 minutes after she left, he quickly stops in the kitchen and make some waffles, normally he would have made eggs but he is pressed for time so he will risk the Batter Witch this time.

Dave comes in, smirked and said "what about the 'Batter witch.'" Dave obviously had to say that last part in a different tone just to mock him more.

John is quick to respond as he grabs his waffles ignoring the heat in his hand "no time!" and runs out.

Dave just looks at him rushing in the direction towards Rose's psychology room with a look of surprise in his eyes not that anyone could tell with those shades on almost 24/7. On his way he nearly crashes into Vriska and screams "Sorry!" and he keeps running.

He makes it to the room and he knows because Rose knitted a sign that reads 'Psychology room' in gold writing on a purple background and another that says 'in' with the same color scheme.

"Ah, right on time John, are you ready to get started."

"The sooner the better."

"That's the spirit John, so what's on your mind" she says the first part with an odd and barely audible giggle. He just dismisses that part thinking she is trying to calm him down.

"So kinda wanted to talk about…" he pauses "a crush that I can't figure out how the on Earth it started-"

He is cut off as she responds, a bit too cheery for her but again he dismisses it, "its Karkat isn't it!"

"Rose, I will not tell you, or ANYONE for that matter, who it is, it could be Karkat, you, Terezi, or even a carapace guy or 1 of the Leprechauns, I will not tell before I am ready to."

"Then hypothetically can we presume it is Karkat." There's the Rose he knows and loves, in a platonic way.

"Fine, if it will get you off my back."

She responds almost as if on cue "You do realize you are here for me to be on your back."

John lets out a small chuckle, smile and go "I guess, but you know what I mean. Anyway, can we get back on topic?"

"I suppose that would be best, so when did you first notice these red feelings."

"Well it started maybe about 2 weeks ago, I would… Wait, wait did you say red feelings?"

"Oh, yeah sorry most of the people who use this are the trolls, mainly for venting. Their ramblings get so funny sometimes."

"Oh well, I will have to take your word for it since I know you won't share this with anyone."

"Well until someone annoys me enough, I think that is why Vriska and Gamzee won't come here and why Eridan avoids me outside his sessions." A look of fear and nervousness sweeps over John's face, Rose, of course, notices and is quick to respond "Relax, you, Jade and Kanaya are exempted from that threat. Anyway back to why you are here, was there anything different your crush did prior to realizing the crush?"

He sighs "Nothing that I can remember in particukar, really they just seemed normal." John notices his blunder a bit too late and hopes she doesn't catch it.

"Did you just say particukar? So it is Karkat, best 12 hours of my life!"

"Fine, you got me it is Karkat, but again please be careful to make sure that doesn't even slip out. And what do you mean best 12 hours… wait, why are you so happy toda-." John is cut off by his own hand in shock. "Oh. My. God. Did you and Kanaya…?" He trails off knowing she knows exactly what he means.

She giggles as a blush sweeps clean across her face "Maybe just a little something happened between me and Kanaya, please don't tell anyone you know, or els-"

He cuts her off quickly "Don't worry, no one will know I know, not even Kanaya unless you tell her, no need to threaten with revealing my crush to the whole house, especially not Dave" John hates keeping secrets from his best bro but he just knows he will mock him for it. "You and I both know he jokes a lot and occasionally gets out of hand."

"I don't think you are giving your best friend and my brother enough credit, sure he jokes a lot but even he knows there is a line and love is past it, at the very least crushes that aren't on him."

"I suppose. And before we continue, why does my crush on Karkat continue to the Seer of Light's fortune."

She panics a little, tries to avoid eye contact but John is giving her his most pleading face which even she isn't immune too "fine, many members of the house started a betting pool on you and Karkat and my time is about to come up."

"Wait like we did for Sollux on if he would choose Aradia or Feferi."

"Exactly."

"What is the bet exactly? And when is your time frame?"

"The bet is on who and when you or Karkat will ask the other on a date. As for your second question, we took a week each, since today is Thursday, mine starts Monday and goes to the following Sunday and then Kanaya has the week after me."

"I really can't believe you guys are betting on me-"

John is cut by her adding "Is it any different than the Sollux bet?"

"I guess not, but I was gonna add that if I can even fake summon courage long enough to, I will ask. I am guessing you and Kanaya bet on my asking."

"Yes, oh and just so you know Dave was this week. Many of the starters did it because they weren't too into the idea and were trying to be nice while being forced to take part. The first 3 on both sides were Karkat's side Vriska, Gamzee and Jake, while you got Nepeta, Equius and Dave. We can all tell Nepeta didn't like the idea of Karkat with someone else, and Gamzee claimed that he had faith in his 'motherfuckin' Moirail' so I take that as a good sign he has a crush on you too."

John's heart flutters for a second. "Well it is Gamzee; we can't be 100% sure."

"Maybe but who else would Karkat most likely confide in?"

"True, but I would like to get back to my question, about how the hell this crush started."

"Hm, well to my professional opinion this is most likely the result of repressed homosexual urges, so you could be gay or bi, a fascination with the trolls and the chance you find his anger, pessimism and insults amusing, does the last part contain any accuracy?"

"The last 2 parts certainly do, and I guess I could of repressed it without even realizing, which seems very unlikely, but it could have a small chance and lead to the constant use of..."

The 2 of them say in unison "No homos"

She is first to speak "There is always the possibility that it is just Karkat you have gotten a crush on. Is there any other guys you have formed a crush on and do you have any female crushes in the house?"

"Well I haven't noticed any other crushes on any guys, and I do still have a small crush on Vriska."

"Ok so it seems it is just Karkat, I feel I must warn you though. Love is unusual, even to psychologists but to have love for someone so much you go against your preference, it becomes nearly unpredictable."

"Ok warning heard and taken to heart. I think that's it."

"Well I do believe we have made great advancements in what the trolls call a 'think pan' is there anything else, would you like to talk, what?"

"If you don't mind me asking, who is even betting and on who?"

"Whom, who is betting on whom? And to answer that it is all the trolls and human players, both alpha and beta. As to whom you each got a list of 12, meaning that out of 30, 6 don't think this will happen. Who is betting on Karkat is in order Vriska, Gamzee, Jake, Tavros, Kankri, Meulin, Kurloz, Terezi, Eridan, Rufioh, Horuss, and Cronus. As for your own it was Nepeta, Equius, Dave, me, Kanaya, Porrim, Jade, Meenah, Aranea, Jane, Feferi, and Roxy. Leaving the 6 who don't think it will happen to be as Dirk, Aradia, Damara, Sollux, Mituna, Latula, interesting stacks."

"They are for sure, and what is the bet for exactly?" he asks with a questioning look.

"Everyone put in 25 human dollars, or at least the equivalent."

"Ok, well this has been very helpful, thanks Rose."

"Anytime John, just have to make an appointment, see you around."

"Haha, see ya Rose."

We are now following Rose Lalonde.

Rose has just finished a psychology session with John in which he has finally acknowledged the possibility of the repressed homosexuality she noticed over a year ago.

She pulls out her phone to message Kanaya

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

TT: John finally confessed his crush on Karkat

GA: Wonderful, They Will Be Very Happy Together

GA: Did He Buy The Bet?

TT: It is John, he is a dear friend but I must confess I would be worried if he didn't believe everything I said

GA: I Guess, Is The Next Part Of The Plan Ready To Commence?

TT: Well all we needed was John to believe me so you may start phase 2 when ready

TT: Thanks again for last night, that was great

TT: Sorry again for freaking out at first

GA: It Is Quite Alright, You Were Unaware Of The Difference Between Our Species' Anatomical Differences

GA: It Was Most Enjoyable For Me Too

tentacleTherapist [TT] stopped pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

We are now following Kanaya Maryam

Kanaya and her Matesprit are planning on getting the most obvious mutual crush in the house together, but neither will ever admit it, at least not yet, so they and a few others decided to get them together. She goes back to her phone and open a new Trollian chat

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

GA: Hi Dave

TG: Hey

TG: so I'm guessing it's time to start phase 2

GA: Yes

TG: so John really confused to Rose

GA: Yes, I Just Hope This Doesn't Affect Their Friendship

TG: don't worry about it, John can't stay mad at her forever

GA: Good Point, Alright Dave Good Luck With Your Part Of Phase 2

TG: thanks you to

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] stopped trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

Now that Dave knows Kanaya must get started now. She opens a memo with Kankri, Porrim, Jane, Nepeta, Equius, Tavros, Gamzee, Kurloz, Meulin, Rufioh, Horuss, Aradia, Damara, and Roxy. Leaving Dave to deal with Vriska, Jake, Terezi, Eridan, Cronus, Jade, Meenah, Aranea, Feferi, Roxy, Dirk, Sollux, Mituna, and Latula. She still wonders why he wanted such a difficult group, oh well, saves her some trouble.

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] started a the memo JohnKat

GA: Hello Everyone

GA: Plan A Has Started, John Confessed

triggerTracker[TT](Kankri) responded to this memo

TT: I still d9 n9t think we sh9uld interfere with the l9ve lives of J9hn and Karkat

Kankri'sAnnoying[KA](Porrim) responded to this memo

KA: shut up Cranky we are do+ing this because we all kno+w they will be better to+gether

TT: Still what if this sets 9ne 9f them 9ff and why d9 must y9u c9nstantly try t9 humiliate me, even in y9ur tr9llian tag

GA: Now You 2 Stop It, Kankri It Won't Set Either Off; It Could Even Help Calm Karkat

TT: Fine

arsenicCatnip[AC] has responded to this memo

AC: :33 *AC still can't believe how much Karkitty purfurs John ofur her but if it makes him happy then she agrees to help*

centaursTesticle[CT] has responded to this memo

CT: D- It's alright Nepeta, I'm sure you will find an e%cellent Matesprit

AC: :33 Thanks Equius, at least I have a great Meowrail

tipsyGnostalgic[TG] has responded to this memo

TG: meorail?

TG: *meowrail?

CT: D- that is how she says Moirail

TG: moirail?

GA: A Troll Word, To Humans It Means Best Friend

GA: Anyway Everyone We Must Meet Downstairs At 5 For The Human Game, Spin The Bottle

AC: :33 Ok

CT: D- I'll be there

TT: 9k

KA: I'm ready

TG: ca thn

TG: *cya

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] closed this memo

**AN: Well that is the first chapter of my first fanfic ever, welcome to the stuff my brain comes up with. Yes I realize I am starting this off to quickly but I have my plans like the trolls and humans do for John and Karkat. So to recap, Freaky mansion, therapy, repressed or one time homosexuality, bet pools, 1 is fake, schemes with all John's friends but Karkat and Spin the Bottle, this is gonna be fun. Feel free to review, criticism is more then welcome and I am SOOO sorry for the OOC-ness. Also, Dirk and Jake are together, I just put them in an open relationship. Also sorry if this seems rushed, I forgot 2nd person wasn't allowed so went through fixing that, rather quickly.**


	2. Dave's schemes and Karkat's feelings

**A/N: Hello all, thank you all so much for the follows and my first ever review, even if it disregarded gramme, and sorry again about the OOC in the first chapter, as I write and the scheming ends by whatever means my mind decides they will become more in character, hopefully. I also learned something interesting due to the first chapter and that is no matter how you set it up you CANNOT make Spin the Bottle sound serious, you just have to at least smile at it, like all that drama build up and the first plan is Spin the Bottle, I don't know what I was thinking. Also sorry for the listing stuff, just enjoyed the mass interaction idea **

turntechGodhead [TG] started a the memo JohnKat 2

TG: john confessed about his crush on karkat

TG: were doing the shitty plan a soon

arachnidsGrip[AG] has responded to this memo

AG: Is there anyway I can get this to end ::::(

gallowsCalibrator[GC] responded to this memo

GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3

GC: NOP3, 3V3RYON3 3LS3 4GR33D 4ND JOHN 4ND K4RK4T W1LL H4PP3N

GC: OR JOHNK4T 4S SOM3 C4LL 1T

GC: TH3Y BOTH W4NT 34CH OTH3R, ITS SO OBV1OUS YOU DONT N33D TO S33 TO S33 1T

GC: TH3Y JUST N33D 4 L1TTL3 H3LP

GC: 4ND B3S1D3S YOU 4R3 TH3 ONLY 1 WHO ST1LL H4SNT 4GR33D, 3V3N N3P3T4 D1D

AG: F8ne

caligulasAquarium[CA] responded to this memo

CA: dont wworry vvris you will alwways havve me

AG: 8h f8ck no, n8 way in hell 8s that happen8ng 8gain

CA: You cant deny your feelings for me forevver

AG: my feelings are I hate you 8ut in a platonic way

CA: yeah right, you got it bad for me

AG: If y8u you me8n stom8ch pa8n when8ver I se8 you then yes, I hav8 it horr8bly 8ad

GC: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4

lonelyLoverboy[LL](Cronus) Responded to this memo

LL: Eridan calm done, this is not how an Ampora should act.

LL: sorry about him ladies.

AG: At least one mem8er of the Amporas is decent

LL: really, wanna go out?

GC: SPOKE TOO SOON VR1SK4

AG: Greeeeeeeeat, looks like I spoke too soon

AG: Oh well I have 8een wrong in the past about the Amporas

fuschiaPrincess[FP](Meenah) responded to this memo

FP: )(A)(A)(A even someone who is out of )(-ER MIND wont go out with you Cronus

twinArmageddons[TA] responded to this memo

TA: Ii have never enjoyed anythiing except Feferii'2, and Aradiia'2 company 2o much

cuttlefishCuller[CC] responded to this memo

CC: aww thanks Sollux 38)

TG: ok, while a sappy love scene out of one of karkat's romcoms isnt sweet every so often

TG: as well as ripping eridan and cronus a new one being funny

TG: we should get back on track

sweetSpider[SS](Aranea) responded to this memo

SS: I must agree with Dave here, we should get 8ack to the task at hand

gardenGnostic[GG] responded to this memo

GG: yay we are finally going to help john with his painfully obvious crush

TG: ok so we all meet at 5

TG: thats 7 hours from now

TG: see you all there

GG: cya

AG: cyaaaaaaaa

GC: BY3 4LL, S33 YOU TH3R3

CA: bye Vvriska

LL: Dude really, wve JUST talked about this, bye evweryone

FP: ALRIG)(T TIM-E M-EDDL-E IN SOM-E LIV-ES

SS: oh Meenah, that is what you took from this

CC: BY-E ALL

TA: Thee you all there

turntechGodhead [TG] closed this memo

Ok now that is taken care of Dave can message Rose real quick

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

TG: my half knows

TT: Ok, Kanaya just messaged me

TG: you did your part?

TT: Yes

TG: so we are all good now to start

TG: cya

TT: Bye

turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

We are now following Past Rose Lalonde

She wonders what I mean past. Am I going backwards on a timeline opposing the normal flow of time.

She will disregard it for now because she has an important matter to tend to.

She must meet up with Dirk real quick to pick up a few cameras so she can record John and Karkat and show them how each other feels. By the time she reaches Dirk's room Nepeta, Equius, and Jake have all tagged along to help set up the cameras.

She knocks swiftly in hope that she doesn't get caught. When he opens the door she actually responds with a smile, "Hello Dirk, are you ready." He nods and they all grab as much of the pile of electronics as they can and head down to the Grand Hall, which is the which is the only place big enough to house the giant table they set up. By the time they can get there Aranea, Meenah, Roxy, Dave, Cronus, Tavros, Gamzee, Porrim, and surprisingly Vriska had joined in to help. Of course Cronus decided it would be good to start hitting on people and everyone got in a fight, him versus all of them, needless to say once Meenah pulled out her trident he went running and they just continued to the hall which was only 2 corridors away by that point.

By the time they finished setting everything up they had attached 32 Microphones, 1 per each chair, as well as 27 cameras, 5 set on where everyone was going to trap John and Karkat next to each other and the other 22 to monitor everyone else's reactions and what they had to do.

Once they all were done they decided they should split up quickly. Dirk was quick to snatch his boyfriend away from Meenah who was being swept away by her matesprit. Rose decided to walk with Vriska planning to, for once, comfort someone and not just analyze them.

Rose broke the ice first, "I'm glad that you seem to of made your peace with John choosing Karkat over you."

She was caught off guard, she looked to the floor with an actual frown on her face. She sheepishly responded "Thanks, its weird though, I want to 8e with him 8ut just seeing him happy seems to make it worth all the wild."

"You know what they call that on Earth?"

"No, what?"

"Humans call what you just described, true love." Rose has literally never spoke so gently and so softly, not with Kanaya, not with John, not even when whispering or mumbling. It was a miracle she could understand what she said.

She quickly became defensive "What, my red feelings for John haven't gone that far."

"Ok, then answer me this what do you like about him?"

She looks back down at the ground, "I like his 8uck-tooth smile, his crystal 8lue eyes, how he can take all the shit this house dishes him, between me, and Karkat, and Dave and everyone else, he just smiles at everyone even if they total jerks to him, I love how he can 8e so caring 8ut you can still get some stuff past him, I love the blue he types his words in, I love how he even started doing my 8 thing sometimes, I love his tastes in movies, I love, I love..." A bright blue blush has appeared on her face by now and Rose can tell she is fighting back cerulean tears.

"Go on."

"I love..." she pauses with a small hitch in her throat and continues"...him. I love John. 8ut-8ut I can't have him..." Blue tears start to run down her cheeks by the time they reach her room.

"There, there, everything will be alright." Rose says in a calm and comforting voice.

"Yeah right, the only person in the house who doesn't hate me and I don't hate them and he is flushed for Karkat. Of all the people in this shitty mansion it had to be him."

Rose is literally stunned, Vriska always said she had a softer side but until now no one ever saw it so nobody believed her.

"Well I don't know if you hate me but I don't you." Rose can't believe how unusually comforting she is right now, and to top the weirdness off, she doesn't even want to analyze her, just help.

Her crying has died down to sobbing, "r-really?"

She gives a small smile and nods her head. Then out of nowhere Vriska wraps her arms around her.

"You know if you want you can try and apologize, and I will help you."

"I-I think I would like that very much so, at least to try."

"Come on."

"Where are going?"

"To find Kanaya."

On the way they run into Tavros and Gamzee, Vriska was about to make a joke against Tavros. Gamzee was already ready to defend Tav, but she shot Vriska a quick look and she withdrew. Gamzee and Tavros just exchanged a shocked look and kept walking.

Rose's laptop went off and she let her answer it before they went to find Kanaya. After she was done with Dave they continued on their way they ran into Karkat who was about to say something, most likely rude, but Rose gave him a look and he stopped.

We are now following Karkat Vantas.

He has just run into Rose and Vriska. And he was, for once, gonna show some compassion to Vriska because he knows she has had a crush on John who didn't feel the same way but Rose is giving him a look that suggests she will cull him. He wonders who John is flushed for.

He just ignores them and continues his search for Gamzee. He really can't deal with his flushed crush on John anymore.

He considers asking Rose and Vriska if they have seen him but he decides not to because what are the odds?

While wondering if he even has a chance of John feeling the same way he runs into Terezi.

"WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOU AR-, OH SORRY TEREZI."

"OH, H3Y K4RK4T. WH4T'S UP?"

"NOT MUCH, JUST LOOKING FOR FUCKING GAMZEE."

"1 TH1NK 1 SM3LL3D H1M WH33L1NG T4VROS 4ROUND."

"FUCKING FIGURES. WHERE DID YOU LAST SE-, ER, SMELL HIM."

"H3H3H3 1 L4ST S4W TH3M 4BOUT 10 M1NUT3S 4GO, 4BOUT 3 H4LLW4YS 4W4Y 1N TH3 D1R3CT1ON OF G4MZ33'S ROOM."

"THANKS TEREZI, SEE YOU LATER." And with that he runs off in the direction of his moirail's room.

She called out after him "J3RK!" but he just ignores her, not his fault she can't she that's Vriska.

He stops, dead in his tracks. He thinks out loud "Wait, were those tears running down Vriska's face and why was Rose helping her."

He decides that is a matter for another as he arrives at Gamzee's room. Karkat knocks as if he is trying to bust down his door.

"WhIcH mOtHeRfUcKeR iN tHe HoUsE iS tHeRe?"

"IT'S KARKAT YOU FUCKASS."

"CoMe In My MoThErFuCkIn MoIrAiL."

He opens the door expecting to find Tavros but he isn't there. Karkat even asks "WHERE'S TAVROS?"

"i PuT tHe MoThErFuCkEr In HiS rOoM."

"OH, RIGHT I FORGOT YOU WERE RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO HIM." (Seriously do you even have an indoor voice, do you always have to yell at everyone, even your moirail. He ignores what he thinks is just a voice in his head but really I am Hussie's second in command, I am next to a god and he chooses to ignore me, YOU WILL PAY KARKAT.)

"aNyWaY wHaT dO yOu MoThErFuCkIn NeEd ThAt YoU dIdN't JuSt TrOlL mE tHiS tImE?"

"I KIND OF NEEDED YOUR FUCKING HELP WITH SOMETHING." (Seriously, still, why do you keep fucking ignoring me, oh you will pay dearly. I am not just a voice in your head.)

"mOtHeRfUcKeR i FiGuReD aS mUcH bUt WhAt WiTh, Is It ThE mOtHeRfUcKiN jOhN hUmAn?"

"HOW DID YOU FUCKING KNOW?" (Finally you are talking a little quieter, it's still a little loud but at least you have a volume control to some extent.)

"BeCaUsE yOu ArE mY mOtHeRfUcKiN mOiRaIl AnD bEcAuSe It Is So ObViOuS tHaT tErEzI hAs TaKeN tO SaYiNg ThAt 'YoU dOn'T nEeD tO sEe To SeE tHe ReD fEeLiNgS bEtWeEn YoU tWo.'"

"WHO THE HELL KNOWS?"

"JuSt AbOuT eVeRy MoThErFuCkEr In ThE hOuSe." Appearantly you were yelling so loud Tavros came to check on you and overheard the last few lines.

"uMM, iT IS FAIRLY OBVIOUS KARKAT, wE ALL CAN SEE YOU TWO ARE FLUSHED FOR EACH OTHER." After hearing Tavros, Gamzee walks over, leans down and plants a kiss on Tavros' cheek. Karkat gives a questioning look.

Gamzee explains that "I aSkEd ThIs MoThErFuCkEr, FiNaLlY, iF hE wOuLd LiKe To Be MaTeSpRiTs." He said it as the biggest smile that can role across a stoner's face who is also addicted to the ever sugary Faygo can summon.

"WELL CONRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS, AT LEAST THAT IS ONE OF THE TWO OF US DOWN."

"uM, kARKAT, hE IS FLUSHED FOR YOU TOO."

"My MoThErFuCkIn MaTeSpRiT iS rIgHt, We AlL kNoW. vRiSkA hAs EvEn GiVeN uP oN hIm."

"SO THAT'S WHY SHE WAS FUCKING CRYING."

"wAIT, dID YOU JUST SAY VRISKA WAS, uH, cRYING."

"YEAH SHE WAS IN FUCKING TEARS AND ROSE WAS FUCKING HELPING HER WALK."

"uH, mAYBE WE SHOULD, uH, cHECK ON HER."

"YOU MEAN THE FUCKING BITCH THAT IS THE REASON YOU NEED THAT FUCKING WHEELCHAIR."

"In TaVbRo'S dEfEnSe He DoEsN't NeEd It AnYmOrE, iT jUsTs HeLpS hIm."

"YOU KNOW WHAT I FUCKING MEAN. THIS IS THE BITCH THAT PUSHED HIM OFF A FUCKING CLIFF, SHE COULD OF EASILY FUCKING KILLED HIM BY DOING SO."

"uH, wHILE YOU ARE, uH, cORRECT I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT."

"WHATEVER, CAN WE JUST GET BACK TO THE REASON WHY I AM FUCKING HERE."

"LoOk My MoThErFuCkIn MoIrAiL yOu ShOuLd JuSt AsK hIm."

"IF I COULD DO IT THAT FUCKING EASILY DON'T YOU THINK I FUCKING WOULD OF BY NOW."

"WhY nOt, I wAs AbLe To." Karkat let out a horribly pained groan, one so pained even sopor filled Gamzee couldn't ignore it. "Ok, LoOk I wAsN't SuPpOsEd To TeLl YoU tHiS bUt..."

"gAMZEE NO."

"ThE tRoLlS aNd HuMaNs PuT sOmEtHiNg ToGeThEr ThAt WoUlD bE mOtHeRfUcKiN pErFeCt To CoNfEsS dUrInG. sOmEoNe WiLl GeT yOu ArOuNd FiVe."

"GOOD GOG...FINE YOU FUCKASSES." And with that Karkat got up and left.

On the way to go find Terezi, Karkat bumped into Kanaya.

"SORRY KANAYA."

"It Is No Problem, Now If You Excuse Me I Must Meet Rose And Vriska."

"HEADS UP, I THINK I SAW VRISKA CRYING."

"Oh, This Will Most Definitely Be Interesting. Vriska Has Never Cried, At Least Not To My Knowledge."

"WHATEVER I WISH YOU SOME FUCKING GOOD LUCK TO YOU WITH HER." And with that he continued walking.

**A/N: Ok I realized with the first chapter that it would probably prove beneficial to keep chapters to a word limit. Now I also want to add that I realize Vriska's I love him moment should probably of gone to Karkat but it serves 2 functions, I can humanize (or the troll equivalent) her and for later drama. Also, Karakat already knows his feelings for John. The plan draws near but will it work (you can tell if you have half a think-pan). Also as I write I will intentionally mess with the typing quirks so be on the look out.**


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